Weasley Wizard Wheezes Presents Words of Wizdom
by Lockheart96
Summary: Ever wanted to write a letter to someone in the wizarding world? Now's your chance! You can write to anyone from the Marauders Era, Harry Potter's time, or even the Next Generation! Ask for advice, ask about them, ask for a chocolate frog! Enjoy!
1. Introduction

"Hello, everybody!" Harry Potter greeted.

Fred grinned. "Welcome! Wizards-"

"Muggles!" George chimed in.

"Hippogrifts, Goblins!"

"House elves, unicorns!"

"Werewolves, and even trolls!"

"But not Slytherines." George added.

"No, no. Definitely not Slytherines." Fred agreed.

"Can we get on with it already!" Ron yelled.

"Shut up, Ronald!" Hermione slapped his arm. "Be patient."

"Yes, Ronald." George mimicked.

"Be patient." Mocked Fred.

"We're not getting any younger, here!" laughed Sirius Black.

"Right! Fred and I discovered a few tweaks on the marauder's map, where you're allowed to communicate with their time zone."

"Quite remarkable, George."

"It's bloody brilliant!"

"You're getting side tracked again…" Teddy Lupin chuckled.

"They really can't stay on topic for two seconds, can they?" asked Victoire. "I'll just finish for them myself."

"Thank you. Victoire." Said Harry, relieved to get on with it.

Victoire nodded. "As you know, Weasley Wizard Wheezes has been working on developing a newspaper with an advice column. They've named it 'Weasley Wizard Wheezes Words of Wizdom'. Basically, anybody can write in to any of us, and ask for advice. Or, even if you just want to know something about us, or our opinions on something. We'll be happy to help. What you do is simple, you just leave your letters in the mailbox at the bottom of the page, titled "Review This Chapter". Click that, and start your letter with "Dear (which ever one of us you'd like to write to.) ," and then you insert your letter. Be creative, and feel free to ask us anything you like. You can write to multiple wizards if you like, as well. We're happy to oblique. The grand opening of the paper is today, so get writing! Thanks, everybody!"

"Merlin, Vic, don't you need to breath once in a while?" Dominique asked.

Victoire narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"Dom's right, that was a mouthful!" Ron agreed, receiving a whack in the arm from Hermione. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For being a git." Hermione told him, and he shrugged.

"Enough from the love birds." Said Fred.

"Right, let's not bore everyone to death before they even write in." George agreed.

"Thanks, guys! We look forward to hearing from you! I'll leave a list of suggestions for people you might like to write too. Talk to you soon!" Harry said, posting his list.

_Harry Potter_

_Ronald Weasley_

_Hermione Granger (Weasley)_

_Albus Dumbledore_

_James Potter (Prongs)_

_Lily Evans (Potter)_

_Sirius Black (Padfoot)_

_Remus Lupin (Moony)_

_Peter Pettigrew (Wormtail)_

_Tom Riddle (Voldemort)_

_Minerva McGonagle_

_Molly Weasley_

_Arthur Weasley_

_Bill Weasley_

_Fleur' Delacour (Weasley)_

_Charlie Weasley_

_Percy Weasley_

_Fred Weasley_

_George Weasley_

_Ginny Weasley (Potter)_

_Luna Lovegood_

_Neville Longbottom_

_Dean Thomas_

_Lavender Brown_

_Mad-Eye Moody_

_Gilderoy Lockhart_

_Delores Umbridge_

_Viktor Krum_

_Cedric Diggory_

_Cho Chang_

_Hagrid_

_Grawp_

_Scabior_

_Greyback_

_Severus Snape_

_Draco Malfoy_

_Bellatrix Black (Lestrange)_

_Nymphadora Tonks_

_Teddy Remus Lupin_

_Victoire Weasley_

_Dominique Weasley_

_Louis Weasley_

_Molly Weasley_

_Lucy Weasley_

_Fred Weasley_

_Roxanne Weasley_

_Rose Weasley_

_Hugo Weasley_

_James Sirius Potter_

_Albus Severus Potter_

_Lily Luna Potter_

_Dobby_

_And anyone else from the Wizarding World you can think of! Thanks so much, and get writing!_


	2. Remus and Scabior

Dear Remus Lupin,

First of all, I wish I had teachers like you at my school. All my teachers  
>need lessons from teachers at hogwarts. Anyway, I have a question. What's it<br>like to teach D.A.D.A? Was it alot of research or not that much considering  
>that I think you've read alot of books? And one last question: What is your<br>favorite color, ever? It's really random but I have made it my goal to get  
>everyone who I think is cool color.<p>

Bye,

Jenna

Dear Jenna,

Thank you, that means a lot. I've never really understood muggle teachers. I don't see what real life experience students can get from copying things out of text books for seven hours that you'll forget when you go home anyway. On to your question, It's very rewarding to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Though I'm fond of charms and transfiguration, I believe D.A.D.A. is the most useful outside of school. Especially the way times are today. I've been very lucky in having great students to work with; they're all very cooperative and always try their hardest. I did read up on some defensive magic before term began, but I already knew most of it, being a member of the Order of the Phoenix. You are correct! I have certainly read a lot of books. In my time at Hogwarts, the library was like a second home to me. I feel like you can never get enough knowledge. Do you like to read? If so, what genre? Sorry, I'm rambling, aren't I? My favorite colors are red and gold. Sorry, I can't decide on just one. I'm really fond of the Gryffindor , thank you for the compliment! You sound like a very cool person yourself.

I'd love to hear from you, again.

Thanks for writing,

Remus

_Dear Scabior,_

_First of all, I think you're really cool, and I love your hair! What do you  
>think of being a Snatcher? Is Scabior your first or last name? If so, what is<br>your other name? Do you have any children? Do you have any catchphrases?_

_Please continue to snatch so well,_

_~wordnerdmandarin_

Wordnerdmandarin,

That I am, love. And thanks, my secret is washing it once a month. Honestly, I can't say I like being a snatcher. But it's snatched or get snatched in this world. As a snatcher, I have to move around a lot. Me and my crew sleep in tents in the woods, and have to re-locate every few days. We mostly just sit around, drinking firewhiskey until some mudbloods come along, and we snatch them. Scabior is my first name, and I don't use my last name because my father wasn't really much of a father at all. I've always just went by Scabior. I don't have any ankle biters, and I never intend too. I'm an eligible bachelor, if that's what you wanted to know, love. I wouldn't really say I have catch phrases. When I first started leading the snatchers, I tried to use, "Snatchers, snatch!". But they didn't take me seriously, so I dropped it after that.

Love,

Scabior x


	3. Remus Response 2

_Dear Remus,_

_Hi! Yes,I do read..ALOT. Sometimes to much so it gets to the point where my  
>mom asks me if I have a social life. Even though I do. Infact, This morning I<br>read a particularly moving book and cried. Have you ever cried while reading a  
>book? It seems silly actually that I do. Muggle schools are so boring! I can't<br>even talk without getting in trouble. Maybe because I talk more than I should.  
>Hm. Anyways, Do you have a favorite book? What is it called, if you do have a<br>favorite book? And one more thing, Thank you for thinking I'm cool. One of the  
>few people outside my tiny friendship circle that do.<em>

_Hoping to write again soon,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

Hello. I can tell, and I can relate too that. In my years at Hogwarts, James and Sirius were always ragging on me for having my nose stuck in a book. Moving, you say? Sounds interesting. Which one was it? I've read my fair share of muggle stories, perhaps I've heard of it. I have in fact cried once while reading a book. It's called _The Monster Book of Monsters_. I was only 11, and it went into graphic detail about my, er, furry little problem. You probably haven't heard of it, unless you've been to Hogsmead or Diagon Alley, which is probably unlikely. But I don't find it silly at all, I think it's great that you can make such a strong connection. About muggle schools, I assumed they were. That's unfortunate, I think talking is essential for students to participate in class, and the only way they're actually going to learn anything. I didn't get in trouble much when I was in school, only the rare occasions that I would get dragged along with my friend's shenanigans. I do have a favorite book, it's called A _History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot_. I must have read it at least a dozen times, but I'm also quite fond of _Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard. _How about you? And your very welcome, it was my honest opinion. I'm sure if more people took the time to get to know you, they would think so as well.

Looking forward to your reply,

Remus


	4. Hermione, Draco, Twins

_Dear Hermione,_

_I As you are a Muggleborn, I expect that you know what Skittles and  
>Whoppers(candy) are. Now, the following question might even be more important<br>than the question for Horcruxes.:which is better?_

_Sincerely,_

_Sydney__ the whopper loving ninja. _

Dear Sydney,

That's excellent! Have you gotten your Hogwarts letter, yet? Probably, considering I didn't know I was a witch until then. Of course I know what they are! Two of the most delicious creations ever invented. In fact, I just introduced whoppers to Ronald a few weeks ago, and he said they were better than chocolate frogs! He couldn't believe muggle's candy was better than the wizard kind. And he can't tell the difference between a licorice wand and a Twizzler. Sorry, back to the question. That is in fact a very difficult decision…but as much as I love skittles, I'd have to say whoppers. How about you?

Thanks so much for writing! I'd love to hear back from you.

~Hermione

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear malfoy scum,_

_Did you know your name means dragon? And what would you say if I told you I, a  
>fist year Muggle born, could kick your $$?<em>

_HATE,._

_Sydney the whopper loving ninja. _

What in Merlin's pants is a whop- oh whatever,

Don't think you can tell me anything I don't already know, you filthy little mudblood! I rode a dracorex hogwartsia dragon when I was only a first year, which I'm sure is far more than you can say you've done for yourself. You couldn't even kick my arse if it was the size of Neville Fatbottom's! You couldn't even reach it! I have no time to waste arguing with a disgusting little mudblood. Keep my name out of your filthy mouth!

My father _will_ be hearing about this.

D. Malfoy

__

_Dear Wesley Twins,_

_Firstly, you are, like, THE GODS of pranking. I am not worthy._

_Second, have you guys ever considered having a pranking service? You could,  
>like, charge a gallon for a minor prank, 3 gallons for a major prank, and 5<br>gallons for a customized prank. Then, you, or an employee, carries out the  
>prank. Of course, you'd have to have a confidentiality agreement, but anyway,<br>think about it._

_You're unworthy servant,_

_Sydney the whopper loving ninja._

Dear Ninja,

_You're not unworthy! _Certainly not. _Not in our opinions anyway, right Fred? _Right, George! You're praising of us _makes you entirely worthy _in our minds!

_Pranking is our specialty! And we are like Gods, if I do say so myself. _Yes, I agree. Particularly George, though, he is rather holey. _It's saint-like, you git! You always ruin the bloody punch line on that one! _Oh, on with the letter already, Georgie, we have to get back to the shop soon. _Right. We did consider a pranking service once back in Hogwarts. _Tried it, actually. _Lasted about a week. _Business was good, that wasn't the problem. _Exactly, we only charged sickles, but we still made quite a bit. _That is _until_ our prefect brother, Ronniekins, _and his know it all girlfriend, Granger, _put it to an end. _We had to give everybody their money back_ as well as serve detentions for a week _with Filtch! _Granger took ten points off, too. _And from her own house! _Yes, shame on that one. _I don't know what was worse, loosing the points or _Mrs. Norris. _I can't stand that bloody beast. _Took the words right out of my mouth, Georgie! _We carried all of the pranks out ourselves, _naturally, with a tad of help from our friend Lee, _if necessary. We also had the confidentiality agreement established, _but when Granger asked the Gryffindor common room who wanted a refund, _those dolts had no problem stepping forward, _and taking every last sickle we made. _But it still is a brilliant idea. _Obviously, considering we thought of it. _We are geniuses, after all. _Yes, pranking geniuses. _How about you? _You could be a pranking genius in the making, you know. _Keep it in mind!_

Yours_ Truly,_

Fred,_ and George _xx


	5. Hermione and Draco's Response 2

_Dear Hermione, yes, I did get my letter. I start in a few days. Anyway, thank  
>you! Whoppers totally pown Skittles! But do my friends think that! NOOO!<br>Something is wrong with, them. Well, actually, everything, but, whatever.  
>Anyway, do have a favorite book? Muggle or otherwise? And what's you favorite<br>subject? Mine is potions.(and, yes, I am Gryffindor.)_

_Sincerely, __Sydney__  
><em>

Dear Sydney,

That's excellent! Congratulations on making Gryffindor! It was my pleasure, and your friends sound like mine. Your question inspired me to ask around, and only half of my friends prefer whoppers to skittles. Actually, most of them had never heard of either before, so I had to take them into a muggle convenient store to buy some…that was overwhelming, to say the least. Ronald even asked the cashier if he would accept one of his chocolate frogs in exchange for another box of whoppers. I do in fact have a favorite book! Well, two actually. My favorite wizard book is _Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling, _and this is sort of embarrassing but my favorite book of all time, which is a muggle one, is called _The Notebook_. It's a romance novel, by an American author, Nicholas Sparks. Do you have a favorite book? I'd love to hear about it. My favorite class is either Arithmancy, or Charms. Sorry, I've never been able to choose. Potions is wonderful! You must have a brilliant mind, most young witches and wizards I know get frustrated because it's too difficult. I don't mean to be too forward, but I suggest you get a copy of _Advanced Potion Making by Libatius Borage_. It's on sale in Diagon Alley this weekend, and I found it highly beneficial buying it in 2nd year, rather than 6th, when it's assigned to us. Hopefully this helped, and congratulations on starting school, again!

Sincerely, Hermione

_Dear Malfoy biatch,_

_I defiantly could kick your fat arse. And anyway, do NOT call nevell fat. He's  
>muy nicer and braver than you. And I will let you know for a fct, that I am<br>5'6, and a blue belt in tae kwon do. So ha. And do not call me muud blood, or  
>somehow, you might wake up red an gold.<em>

_SYD__._

Mudblood,

Talk to me when you're older and can write with proper grammer. You're obviously not even capable of lasting 10 seconds in a duel with anyone if your best come back is informing me that you own a belt that is blue, from shopping complex with a name as odd as tie kuo- oh never mind. You're argument is ridiculous, and I'm sure you don't even know the spell for turning me those foul colors. Best be getting back to your coloring books, child.

D. Malfoy


	6. Hermione and Draco's Response 3

_Dear Hermione, I can understand that being a slight bit overwhelming..  
>Anyway, my favorite book right now is probably, um... OK, this might take<br>awhile... I know! Either Tales of Beatle the Bard, or Where the red fern  
>grows. And thank you for the tip on the potion book, I got it and it is very<br>helpful. And I know! It just irritates me that some people can't enjoy the  
>wonderfulness that is Whoppers... Although Razzels DO run a close second...<em>

_Sincerely, __Sydney__.  
><em>

Dear Sydney,

Oh, I love _Tales of Beatle and the Bard_! Being muggle-born, like you, my parents never read that to me as a child, instead I heard things like _Cinderella_ and _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_, but my dear former headmaster left me his copy in his will, and I've read it at least a hundred times since. As for _Where the Red Fern Grows_, I've never read that one, but considering the fact that I'm running out of new material, I'll have to check that one out. Can I find it in Diagon Alley or a muggle library? No problem! I'm always happy to help a fellow reader. I couldn't agree more, Whoppers are bloody brilliant if you ask me! So brilliant that I just said bloody…twice…wow they truly are amazing! Razzles! Oh my Merlin, how I used to love them as a kid! I haven't had them in ages! Thank you, Sydney, now I've made it a point to get some first thing tomorrow!

Sincerely, Hermione

_Dear Malfoy,_

_HA! I am technically a few hours older than last time I wrote. And Tae Kwon Do  
>is a fighting style, and blue belt is a level of it. I will not return to<br>'coloring books' seeing as they are stupid and a waste of pencils and time.  
>And I might not know that spell right now, but the Weasley Twins will probably<br>help me on that one. And Whoppers are a candy._

_And I can hold my own in a duel thank you very much. And what business of  
>yours is it whether I can or not, ferret?<em>

_Sydney._

Mudblood Scum,

Ferret? How the bloody hell did you hear about that? It was that git, Potter, wasn't it? Speaking of stupid and a waste of time, why am I even reciprocating in this childish nonsense?

Good Riddance,

D. Malfoy


	7. Lavender, Luna, Hermione, Malfoy, Remus

_Dear Lavender Brown,_

_My Name is Bryan Evans. Long time fan first time letter writer. My question is  
>this "How do get back into a relationship after a messy breakup?"<em>

_Bryan "the bry" Evans_

Dear Bryan,

It's great to hear from you! Now let's see… Personally, I have had plenty of experience in, as you say, "messy break ups"…So the best advice I can give you is to start off slowly, and build your friendship back up. But if they're not with some bushy haired know it all witch- oohhh sorry…got a bit carried away there, hehe. What I mean is, if they're not with some one else, and you're not, then just be really sweet and work your way onto a friendship level. Once you mend your friendship, tell her you wish you could go back in time and change where things went wrong, and chances are, you'll be back on track. Hope this was helpful! It was lovely writing with you(:

Love, Lavender

_dear luna_

_my question is this "How do people treat you the same even if you are forget  
>the term "loony"?<em>

_Bryan Evans_

Hello Bryan,

That's an intriguing question. Most people don't treat me the same as others, but that's quite alright. I'm not like other people. I like to explore the amazing world of magical creatures, most people don't pay them any mind. I'm quite fond of Wrackspurts and Nargles, but nobody ever looks for them. I do have a small group of friends, who treat me the same as everyone else. I'm in love with a very optimistic boy, much like myself, named Rolf Scamander. His grandfather Newt Scamander is the author of my favorite book, _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_. Rolf is helping me prove my theory that Crumple-Horned Snorkack's do truly exist. Ooooh there's a Blibbering Humdinger on my muffin! Sorry, but I have to go fetch him a blue berry.

Take Care, Luna Lovegood

_Dear Hermione,_

_You can find it at your local Muggle library. And yeah, Razzels are awesome.  
>My friend from camp, Tori, introduced me to them. And anyway, do know a spell<br>/potion to turn someone red and gold?_

_Sincerely,_

_SYD__. _

Dear Sydney,

Great! I'll have to stop there tomorrow as well. I do know one spell that we used in our 4th year to decorate the Gryffindor common room when my friend, Harry, was competing in the Tri-wizard Tournament. It's called the Flashing Paint Charm, I know the names not very creative, but Neville came up with it and we didn't want to let him down. The spell causes the colors to flash from red to gold every few seconds, and it last for two weeks if you don't use the counter-spell. Though I usually don't approve of using it on _people_, (for a prank, correct?) I will allow it this once since it is Gryffindor colors after all. The spell is Gryffintoro Festivoro. Don't forget to swish and flick your wand as you say it, or the colors will fade sooner. Who, if you don't mind my asking, was the spell for, exactly? I hope Fred and George haven't been bothering you for it, they've been asking me for ages.

Sincerely, Hermione

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Malfoy,_

_I want to ask, why are Muggleborn so so bad? (and I know about that_

_Ferret thing because I have my sources. Do not underestimate me.)_

_Do not call me childish. I resent that. And must you resort to name calling?  
>And also, yes, superfoxymegaawsomehot Potter told me?.<em>

_HATE,_

_Sydney__._

Cindy,

Mudbloods are so bad because they're blood is filth, just like they're dirty scum muggle parents. Potter is a nerd, don't defend him. I'm sure he's the only one on this planet worse than _you_. And you are childish. CHILDISH. CHILDISH! **CHILDISH! ** :p

Shouldn't you be off chasing a butterfly or something?

D. Malfoy

_Dear Luna,_

_I ask you, why did you end up with Rolf Scamender and not Neville. I was  
>actually surprised when I found out that you weren't with Neville. Although, I<br>do love you as a character and I DO believe that Nargles are real._

_Sincerely,_

_your loving fan,_

_Read-a-holic_

Hello, there.

After Hogwarts I became a Wizarding Naturalist, and went on an expedition to prove my theory, that Crumple-Horned Snorkack's truly do exist. That's when I met Rolf, he was observing Nargles when I first saw him. His grandfather, Newt Scamander, wrote the book _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. _Rolf is helping me on my expedition now, we really are perfect for each other. As for me and Neville, he's a very sweet boy, but we're just good friend's. He's married to Hannah Abbott now, she's went to school with us. They do make a lovely couple. I think it's cool that you believe in Nargles, most people don't. But I assure you, you're not crazy. A lot of people think I am, but I've seen them. I have 2 of them living in my sock drawer. I named them Tiki and Lydia.

Love, Luna

_Dear Remus,_

_I really enjoy talking to you. I hope you aren't getting annoyed with me. Or  
>are you? The moving book I read was 'If I stay' but I cried in 'Deathly<br>Hallows.' I cried in the middle of my class. It was really embarassing. The  
>monster book of monsters? That book that snaps at anything and everything,<br>right? My favorite book is apart of a series. It's called, 'Prisoner of  
>Azkaban.' Have you read any of those? I doubt it but, there's a chance.<br>Anyway, Today my brother and his friends got a dog and they yelled, "REMUS!"  
>while reading outloud from this book and the dog came running. Feel the love,<br>eh? And my brother and his friends are crazy._

_Sincerely,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

Nonsense! I enjoy talking to you, too. In fact, today I was anxiously awaiting for my owl to return with your letter, so I could get that book you mentioned. Thanks, I'll be sure to get those first thing tomorrow. Sorry that you got embarrassed, with James and Sirius as my best mates, I've had more than my fair share of embarrassing moments at school. And yes, that is the one! But once you stroke the spine, and cast the Petrificus Totalus charm, (which is a body binding curse), you'll find that it's actually incredibly informing. Unfortunately, your doubts rein true. I've never heard of them, but I'll get them tomorrow. That's funny, they sound like James and Sirius, they'd all probably get along well. That leaves us bookworms to mock them together with witty sarcastic insults with words too big for them to catch, right? Haha.

Talk to you soon, Sincerely,

Remus


	8. Luna, Hermione, Draco, Remus

_Dear Luna,_

_Thank you for telling me that I'm not crazy (a bunch of people do). Actually,  
>once, I thought a bunch of paper towels was a dog! Also, I think it's cool<br>that you have two pet Nargles._

_Thanks,_

_your non-crazy reader,_

_Read-a-holic_

Hello again,

You're quite welcome. You seem perfectly sane to me. I can see how easily it is to mistake those for a dog, they are indeed similar. Especially if the dog is white and absorbent. Thank you, I find them cool, also.

It was lovely talking with you,

Love Luna

_Dear Hermione.,_

_No, Fred and George haven't put me up to it, I just need to us it on a certain  
>evil, foul, disgusting Pureblood... Anyway, thanks for the spell! If you had<br>to choose Between cormac McLaggen or Malfoy to date, who would you choose?_

_Sincerely, __SYD__. _

Dear Sydney,

Oh, alright then. It was my pleasure! Anytime. Wow…they're both foul, vile, idiot gits! But if I had to choose, I suppose McLaggen. Though the thought of him makes me throw up in my mouth a bit, I'd rather be _crucio'd_ all day, everyday, then tolerate Malfoy. Who would you choose?

Sincerely,

Hermione

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Malfoy,_

_First off, I absolutely cannot stand butterflies. There to innocent and cute  
>and non-evil... Anyway, WHY is our blood so filthy. How do YOUKNOW it's<br>filthy? Have you ever looked at a Muggleborn blood and studied it, huh?_

_HATE, SYD._

Dear Butterfly-Loving-Coloring-Childish-Mudblood,

Oh yes, I know how infatuated you are with those mystical creatures. Speaking of innocent and cute and non-evil, they're just like you! Maybe you are half butterfly and you never knew it. Can you fly when you flap your arms? By the way, your blood is filthy because it is. That's like asking "Why am I the most handsome talented incredible wizard to ever live?" It just happened that way. I know it's filthy because my father told me, and the dark lord _himself_ told him. I would never study the filth that contaminates your blood, I might get cooties!

Much more hate,

D. Malfoy

_Dear Remus,_

_Are you enjoying the books? I also tried(and failed) to look for a copy of  
>History of Magic in my brother's very, very old suitcase because who knows<br>what's in there! But as soon as I can, I will ask him if he has it or even  
>heard of it. You said you were embarassed alot, but which was your most<br>embarassing moment? Anyway, Do James and Sirius like poking people with  
>spoons, rein terror and scare people out of there wits? If so, Then my<br>brother, his friends and those two would get along fabulously. Witty comebacks  
>and words to big for them to catch. Sounds like fun!<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

The books are brilliant! I bought all 7 in the series, but I'm just finishing the _Goblet of Fire_ now. My favorite so far was also _The Prisoner of Azkaban_. They sound extremely familiar, I wonder if this author, _J.K. Rowling_ knew any of my friends. Probably Wormtail, he always was a rat. It's unfortunate that you weren't able to find it, I'm sure it would be very informative for you, be sure to ask him about that. Yes, I certainly was embarrassed a ton, all thanks to my friends. Let's have a flashback, shall we?

*Flashback*

**I was in my 5****th**** year at Hogwarts, and my fellow Marauders, James, Sirius, Peter and I had our first period class, Transfiguration. We usually walked in to class together, but my friends weren't at breakfast so I had to go alone. In class, Peter was in his usual seat, in the corner. The seat beside him belonged to James, but it was empty, and the one next to that, reserved for Sirius, was empty as well. My chair was beside Sirius's, so I guessed I'd have to pair up with Peter for the day if they didn't show up.**

**Luckily, we were only taking notes, so I kept to myself, as usual. McGonagle was writing on the board as we copied her lesson into our notebooks. When suddenly, James burst through the door wearing his pajamas and owl slippers. His glasses were crooked, and his hair was even messier than usual. **_"Moony! There you are! How could you?" _**James demanded, obviously out of breath. I sat there, eyes wide and mouth dropped in shock. **_"I…James, um…" _**I muttered, unable to calculate a response. **_"Remus, you left me there. All alone in bed. You didn't even say goodbye, or ask me if I wanted to grab breakfast with you, or anything!"_** James went on, looking completely offended. We were certainly getting some stares now. Even Professor McGonagle stopped mid-lesson to watch the scene going on. **

"_James, have you smuggled some Firewhiskey from your parent's liquor cabinet, again?" _**I whispered, not wanting him to get in trouble. **_"That's all you want from me, isn't it, Moony? You just want to get me drunk so you can have your way with me, then dump me like yesterday's daily profit!" _**James cried dramatically. As if things couldn't get any worse, Sirius came storming in the door, but unlike James, he wasn't wearing PJ's. He was in his boxers. **_**Only **_**his boxers. This caught him the attention of anyone who wasn't already focused on the scene at hand, especially the girls, who were now drooling over him. **

"_You!" _**Sirius hollered, pointing an accusing finger at James. **_"Me?" _**James yelled back, even though they were no more than 3 feet apart. **_"Yes you! How dare you try to seduce Remus! You knew about our relationship!" _**Sirius yelled. I narrowed my eyes. Now it clicked. They were doing this to get back at me for not doing their potions essay last week. **_"Remus can see who ever he wants! Which is obviously me, right, Remmy?" _**asked James. **_"How dare you! Don't talk to my moonylicious lover, you home wrecker!" _**Sirius screamed, getting all up in James' face. **_"My moonykins doesn't need any possessive men, such as yourself, in his life. Come, love, we're leaving." _**James said, gesturing me to come with him. I made no moved to get up, I just slumped lower into my seat and buried my face in my hands, in embarrassment. Poor McGonagle stood flabbergasted, not even sure how to react.**

"_Oh no you don't!" _**Sirius charged at James, and the two best friends were now rolling around on the floor, in a fistfight. **_"James! Sirius! Stop it! Stop this nonsense this instant!" _**I ordered, but all this did was get me dragged into the fight. Seven minutes later, the last ones in class were me, James, and Sirius. We sat at our desks, as Professor McGonagle paced the room, thinking.**

"**Sorry Minnie." James and Sirius said in unison, grinning like idiots at me as I sighed.**

"**Oh, Godric, please tell me why on Earth was I cursed with this morons for friends?" I mumbled to myself.**

**James grinned a wide, lopsided smile, and Sirius patted my should consolingly. **

"_Not cursed, Moony." _**Sirius grinned. **_"Blessed."_

_*End of Flashback*_

I can assure you, it was horrid. What was yours, if you don't mind my asking? James and Sirius are always poking people with their wands, but I've never caught them using spoons before. Forks, perhaps. They do indeed love reining terror and scaring people out of their wits, it's what they do best. So yes, they should all get together for a game of Quiditch some day. Yes, lot's of fun!

Sincerely,

Remus


	9. Ginny and Neville

_Dear Ginny Weasley,_

_First off, I would love to say you seem like such an outgoing person, someday  
>I wish we could meet.<em>

_My question is how do you put up with all of your brothers all of the time? I  
>understand after some time You must just be use to it, but that doesn't mean<br>they don't annoy you every now and then. Secondly what do you consider your  
>favorite subject? I personally, seem to find transfiguration as very<br>fascinating, it is my best subject._

_-Victoria_

Dear Victoria,

Thanks! That would be brilliant! That's a great question…I just have to show them who's boss and kick their arses in to shape sometimes! Haha. The boys can get really annoying at times, but they know their limits with me. Since I'm the only girl, they seem to have some sort of fear of pissing me off too much. It's probably because of my mother's temper, they know I inherited it, and the last thing anybody wants in another Molly Weasley on their case. Do you have any siblings? You're right, I am used to them by now, but it always bothers me when they leave me out, or underestimate me because I'm a girl, or the youngest.

Moving on, my favorite subject is Defense Against the Dark Arts, it's a great opputunity to let off steam, and definitely comes in handy outside of school. That's awesome! Transfiguration's great, I'm not so bad myself at it. That comes in handy too, once I needed to turn Ron into a Spider to shut his trap. You should keep that one in mind if you have any pesky brothers!

Sincerely,

Ginny

_Dear Neville,_

_How does it feel to be undeniably the most bad-** person in the world?_

_Love,_

_Katie_

Dear Katie,

Why, thank you! Um, I'm going to be honest with you, Katie…It feels bloody fantastic! I wish I could be more modest and all…but I've always been a nobody my whole life. My parents didn't die for me to disappoint them, so I gathered up all my courage and put it to use. Another thing I wanted to add to no-nose was that he can go and suck on Merlin's hairy left nut, but I didn't want to get carried away.

Thanks again!

Neville


	10. Hermione, Draco, Neville, Remus

_Dear Hermione, I would probably choose McLaggen, too. And also, what did  
>you're parents say when they found out? Mine weren't exactly the happiest,<br>seeing as they'd planned for me to be a lawyer or doctor or something, and to  
>go too college and all that.<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Sydney__. _

Dear Sydney,

My parents were in complete shock, and slight denial at first. They were both excited and scared at the same time, because magic was a foreign concept to them. My parents still thought I'd follow in their footsteps and become a dentist when I grew up, though it seems that would have never worked out for me. I'm sorry that your parents weren't so thrilled…have the adjusted to the idea yet?

Hope all goes well,

Hermione

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Embarrassingly - Ugly-Filthy -Untalented -Malfoy,_

_Wow, REAL mature. How old are you, seven? Anyway, I hate butterfly, and I  
>would bow down to Voldemort before being half of one. Anyways, ferret, Potter<br>isn't a nerd. And I think you're just jealous of Potter. And you and your **  
>lame ** father and leader can go die in a whole for what I care.<em>

_As much hate aas person can take without exploding, the_

_Sydney._

Dear I-know-you-are-but-what-am-I? ,

Yes, I know that I'm mature and you are not. I'm obviously _not_ the seven year old one in this debate. Best be getting a look in the mirror, kiddo, if it doesn't crack, that is. I wouldn't be surprised. I find it odd that you're so annoying yet you're going to bow down to the dark Lord. Whose side are you on, anyway? I am _not_ a ferret, and Potter is indeed, a nerd. I could never be jealous of that four-eyed freak. The dark Lord choose ME _himself_ to kill _THE_ Albus Dumbledore. Not Potter, ME. I am obviously the better man. I will be informing my father of this ridiculous thing you call a threat, and he will report you to the ministry at once!

Hate me a bit more and fulfill your purpose then,

_Sorry Neville, didn't mean to be such a potty mouth(: my sister stole my  
>iPod, did something bad with my autocorrect, and well, you saw the rest(:<em>

_P.S. Your parents were brave to the end, and so are you. Whatta Gryffindor(:_

That's quite alright, I'm sorry myself. I just got a bit carried away there. Thanks, that means a lot. I really hope I didn't let them down.

Thanks again!

Neville

_Dear Remus,_

_Oh! That sounds extremely embarassing. My most embarassing moment was when it  
>was the fist day of Middle school for me. It was the last class for the day. I<br>was just walking along the corridor and I was just minding my own buisness. I  
>stepped into the class and then I sat down. These kids were huge! I sat down<br>in the front, looked to my left and whispered to this girl next to me, "Wow.  
>These 6th grader's are super tall!" Then she looks at me, like I was let out<br>of the loony bin or something. "We're thirteen year olds!" She yelled and I  
>just felt like blushing or hiding when the class looked at me. So, I packed up<br>my things and ran out the door. It was really embarassing and still..I can't  
>look the girl in the eye without remembering humiliation. Worst first day<br>ever. Anyway, Maybe J.K. Rowling knew some things. I would see what you can  
>guess. I'm glad your enjoying the books. Today, I found a history of magic! My<br>brother and I had an adventure, fighting evil socks and waving through soda  
>covered floors. The book is actually really interesting. I enjoy it. Seems<br>like a good plan to put them all together. I'm sure they'll enjoy it greatly!_

_Talk to you soon,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

I assure you, it was. Oh my Godric, that sounds awful! But I'm sure you'll look back and laugh at it someday, I know I do with mine. As for J.K. Rowling, I'm sure she did! I just finished the last book today, they were phenomenal! But I keep swearing they're based off of the life of a very dear friend of mine, in fact, I'm almost positive! Ohh you found it? That's fantastic! That sounds like a dangerous adventure…you know those things together can be worse than fighting off devil snare! I'm glad you're enjoying the book. And yes, I thought so myself. So it seems we're getting to be quite good pen pals, maybe we should get a little better acquainted. Do you have an owl? If so, what's his/her name? And if you did go to Hogwarts, which house to you think you'd be sorted into?

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Remus


	11. H, D, Twins, R, S, H, R, P

_Dear Hermione,can't you see that you and Harry are perfect for each  
>other!ron's a retarded psyco and ginny is a **!<em>

Well…umm.. Harry and I are just friends. I do love him, but like a brother. Me and Ron…err…See, we fight a lot, but it's rather passionate when you think about it. Though he's an oblivious git with the emotional range of a teaspoon half the time, he's also really loyal, and brave, and sweet, and that's the Ronald I've fallen in love with. As for Ginny, well, she's my sister in law, and one of the only girls I actually get along with. Sure, she can be a bit blunt and has a fiery temper, like her brother, but I have come to love it. Not to mention Ginny has loved Harry since she was 10, and Harry has loved her back since 5th year.

Sincerely,

Hermione

_Dear Mr Malfoy Jr,_

_I am a muggleborn 2nd year ravenclaw student,I know Judo and I am an expert at  
>swordsmanship so if I ever see you say the term Mudblood again I'll stun you<br>and use a severing charm to cut your balls off!_

_Sincerely,Your Worst Nightmere(Hermyisawesome)_

Dear Mudblood,

What is it with little kids trying to act tough these days? A word of wisdom, youngling. Back away slowly and never come anywhere near me, or I'll obliviate you into thinking you're my worshipping servant who bows down to me and then does the Macarena every 10 minutes.

D. Malfoy

_Dear Gred and Forge,_

_my brother is a lawyer in the muggle world so it would be easy for him to make  
>up contract that has no loopholes for the "brown headed demon" to get through<em>

_good luck and happy pranking_

_sincerely,Hermyisawesome_

Hermyisawesome,

_Excellent! _Yes, it really is. _We will definitely _be sure to keep that in mind. _Thanks a lot, love! _Expect a pigmey puff in the mail, _free of charge! _On us, of course. _We owe you! _You sound like a bit of a pranker, yourself. _So happy pranking to you too! _Don't do anything we wouldn't do!

Forge _and Gred xx_

_Dear Ron,_

_i know that you like a lot of wizard candy. But what is you favorite one? Mine  
>is Chocolate Frogs. I already have about 20 cards!<em>

_Sincerely,_

_your greatest fan,_

_Read-a-holic_

Dear Read-a-holic,

Oh yes, I do! Hmm…that's a tuffy. There's droobles…pumkin pasties…liquorices wands…every flavored beans…well, I say I have to agree with you on that one. I love chocolate frogs, especially the cards with me on them! Have you gotten any of them?

Ron

(p.s. your name sounds just like Hermione…haha)

_Dear Hermione,_

_Yes, they've mostly adjusted to it. And I know. My parents NOW when we went to  
>Diagon Alley, got a whole book on wizarding careers and.. Yeah. So far,<br>they've got down Healer, Auror, Teacher, something in Macigal law... Yeah._

_Sincerely, __Sydney_

Sydney,

I'm glad they've warmed up to it! Don't worry, it took my folks a little while, too. Those are all nice jobs! Do you like any of them? That's what matters most. I have a job for the ministry of magic, I work in the Department of Magical Creatures. It's pretty amazing, if that helps.

Hope all is well,

Hemione

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Dear Malfoy,_

_Wow. You're stupidity astounds me. Anyways, I'm on the Dark Side. And no, I'm  
>not Slytherin, I'm Gryffindor. And anyway, I don't expect you have many mirror<br>in your home, seeing as they'd all crack, crumble, and burst into flames when  
>you looked in them.. Anyway, If you are SOOOOOOOO great, then why was<br>Muggleborn able to get a better marks then you Y years run ng, hmm?_

Mudblood,

I don't care to hear your personal life, and no, I do NOT want to be your boyfriend. I know how great I am, no need to rave about it. We all no that no mudbloods get better marks then me. Especially ones who say 'Y years run ng' . I don't even know what that means, that's how stupid you are. Y isn't a number, and there's an 'I' in Running, not a space, dumb arse.

D. Malfoy

_Dear Sirius,_

_My question is this " Is it possable to forgive someone for framing another  
>person?"<em>

_Bryan P Evans_

Bryan,

No, the bloody hell it is not! Not in my case, anyway. When you rat out your best friend and get him and his wife killed, then turn around and frame your other best friend and get him locked away in Azkaban for 12 years, then you don't deserve to be forgiven. Yet in any other case, it might be different, and a bit less extreme. So I suppose you could forgive, but you could probably never forget.

~Sirius

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_Dear ron,_

_My question is this " what is a good way to have a girlfriend who likes you  
>for your heart?"<em>

_Bryan P evans_

Dear Bryan,

Be honest. That's about all I can say, mate. If you want her to like you for who you really are, show her the real you. She probably get impressed by your honesty, too. That'll get you points.

Good luck,

Ron

_Dear Harry Potter,_

_you and i have a lot in common we both like a red haired girl. Anyway my  
>question is How do i make her love me for what i am?<em>

_Bryan P evans_

Dear Bryan,

That's brilliant! Red heads are beautiful; you just have to watch out for their fiery tempers. As for your question, you should try showing her who you are. Don't put on a show or act cool for her, because girls tend to see right through that. Just tell her about yourself, and let her get to know the real you. But don't forget to ask her about herself, because if she thinks all you can talk about is yourself, you'll seem conceited and she'll think you don't care.

I hope this was helpful,

Harry Potter

_Dear Remus,_

_Hm. Hopefully, I will laugh at it later. Anyway, About J.K. Rowling, She must  
>have or found out somehow. I'm glad you thought the books were good! Which one<br>is your favorite after you finished the series? Have a least favorite? I  
>actually finished History of Magic over breakfast today. It was fantastic!<br>Infact, I do have an Owl, but I share with my younger sister. We named her  
>Skye. Do you have any pets(owls included)?<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

I hope so, too. I agree, it's impossible to make things up so accurately. My favorite is definitely The Prisoner of Azkaban, how about you? My least favorite is probably The Order of the Phoenix, because it brought back a lot of bad memories. You seem to be a fast reader, like myself. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I thought you might. Awh, that's a wonderful name. Unfortunately, I do not have an owl. I'm not really in the position to be taking care of any pets with my once a month problem with the full moon. So whenever I need something sent out, I take it to the owlery.

Sincerely,

Remus

_Dear Prongs_

_my question is this is it wrong to prank a boyfriend of the one you love?_

_Bryan evans_

Bryan,

Of course not! If she's the one you love, than you should be her boyfriend in the first place. He needs to be out of the picture, and pranking is usually the way to go. But always play dumb or innocent with her if she confronts you. Girls always go for the one who's playing the victim role. Keep that in mind, always. It could get you really far if you use it right. Make her feel sorry for you. You can sweep her off her feet, mate.

Good luck with her!

Prongs

_**Dear Readers,**_

_**Thank you all so so much for all of your letters! This is my first fanfic and It's great to know that it's become such a hit! I love hearing from you, so keep up the good work guys !**_

_**~Monica X**_


	12. Twins, Ginny, Draco, and Ron

_Dear fred and george_

_My question is this " What is the best way to get back on a teacher's daughter  
>who ratted her own boyfriend out"<em>

_Bryan Patrick Evans_

Bryan,

Ahh, these are our favorite type of questions! _Right you are, Fred. _There are two approaches that you can take for this. _One: Make her look bad in front of her creepy teacher/ parent. _Don't just simply rat her out for something, nobody likes tattles. _Right, but discreetly bring up something bad she did, or something of that sort. This is your most practical option. _But definitely not the funnest! _That's true. _Of course it is, Georgie. Two: So the best way to get back at somebody who screwed you over, is pranking them! _Sure, this won't get them grounded for a month. _It might even get you in trouble if your not sneaky enough. _But it will be worth it! _Have you tried dating on of her friends? That'll grind her gears. Then you can get dirt on her and expose her to the- _unless her friends are unattractive. How about love note from the most poplar guy in school in her locker, telling her to meet him at blah blah blah…_These are rubbish. _Completely. Our apologies, we've never had to come up with pranks where we couldn't use magic before. _You could always pour bleach on her grass. That stuff will never come out! _Or create a fake email address and send her a virus. We can give you the link if you like. _Then her computer will crash, and teacher/parent will be pissed cause they have to pay for it! _You could also write her phone number on the walls in the boys bathroom, this will stir up a lot of trouble. _Or we could always send you a skiving snack box or a few nosebleed nougats. _If none of these work, feel free to ask for more, and we'll look into some better approaches._

_Good luck _and happy pranking!

Fred _and George_

_Dear Ginny,_

_my question if you could have revenge on a ex boyfriend who would it be and  
>why<em>

_bryan_

Dear Bryan,

It would definitely have to be Dean Thomas. Though I haven't had many boyfriends, he was the only one that I've had a messy break up with. I would get revenge because he is bitter and foul and humiliated me in front of the entire school. He broke up with me in front of _everybody_ just moments after I dumped _him._ So I looked like the pathetic one! But I did get my revenge. I jinxed him with my bat boogey hex, and he was in the hospital wing for three weeks (;

Love,

Ginny

_Dear Ginny,_

_About a year ago I fell for a boy, but he got a girlfriend and he's still with  
>her...it's been almost a year. I love him a lot and I've tried to stop, but I<br>can't seem to. I want to hope for the best, but I'm tired of hurting when I  
>see them together and I'm afraid that things might never work out for us. I<br>know that you waited several years for Harry and you didn't give up on him  
>even when he was going out with other girls (like Cho). But is there a point<br>when it's best to give up and let go of a boy you love if he is with someone  
>else and only seems to see you as a friend? If so, what is the best way to do<br>that? And in retrospect, do you regret dating all those other boys, even  
>though deep down inside you loved Harry all that time? If you had to do it<br>again, would you do anything differently? Sorry for all the questions. :P_

_Sincerely,_

_3NDC_

Dear 3NDC,

Ohh, I see your dilemma. Well if you've already tried to let go of him, and couldn't, chances are your not going to be able to any time soon so that option's out. What you need to do is win him over. You don't control who you fall in love with, it's fate. So if you can't move on, then maybe you are meant to be. You just need to make him see that. I never gave up on Harry, because I knew he was confused and hormonal and didn't know the slightest thing about girls. I don't regret dating anyone else, because Harry never left my mind or heart anyway. I mostly used them to make him jealous, and I know that sounds awful, but it did work! I wouldn't change a thing.

I know you hope for the best, but hoping isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to take action. Have you ever tried breaking them up? Discreetly, of course. Don't let them know it was you. Or simply be more forward with him. Does he know you like him? That can totally change the game. As for getting over him, my only tip is to find a new guy and try to love him, but it's hard then it sounds. Remember, you can't choose who you love. It's not your mind that decides, it's your heart.

Love,

Ginny

_Dear Draco,_

_A random question: do you find blondes or brunettes more attractive? (I ruled  
>out redheads since you show such distate for the Weasley family.)<em>

_Curious,_

_3NDC_

_P.S. - I think you're extremely sexy ;)_

Dear 3NDC,

I prefer brunettes, although I've dated some blondes too. (That was clever, because yes, I do hate gingers.)

Sincerely,

D. Malfoy

P.S. Thanks, love!

_Dear Draco Malfoy,_

_No need to call me mudblood just yet, I'm half blood for your information!_

_Anyway,_

_I would just like to point out to you that you have a PATHETIC idea of what  
>filthy blood is. I think filthy blood is blood that run through families full<br>of death eaters! - fold arms in distaste-_

_If you consider that good, you clearly don't have high expecatations. :(_

_It shouldn't be about whether there pureblood or not but by what they do._

_If being a pureblood in the wizarding world was measured by kindness, you'd be  
>a speck of dust :)<em>

_Siriusly -.-_

_Just wanted to say that to you, malfoy._

_Wait till your father hears about this, huh?_

_Bet you guys don't even know what human rights are -.-_

_With "love",_

_SHP_

_Just an idea: Maybe if you treated some people nice they'd actually like you  
>-_-<em>

SHP,

Good, your blood status is slightly more tolerable. Though you obviously don't have the slightest idea about polluted blood. Death Eaters are purebloods, and have the highest honor given. Mudbloods decend from filthy muggles, therefore, they are contaminated with their filth. Their magic is a truly undeserved gift. I think squibs are even better then them. I don't have time for your childish insults, go and save a hippogriff or something. And yes, he will hear about this. I wonder if you're a _registered_ halfblood. If not, you'll have some serious trouble with the ministry. And no, I don't know what rights muggles have, I would have touched a house elf before taking that fail of a class, _Muggle Studies._

D. Malfoy

P.S. I respect those who deserve it.

_Dear Ginny,_

_I have been in love with my friend, but he likes another girl. I wonder if he  
>will ever notice i like him. At this moment what do i do? Go and pull a<br>lavender? Or...What?_

_Love and Thanks,_

_Leda_

Dear Leda,

Hmm..I see your problem. First of all, boys are oblivious morons. If you ever want him to notice how you feel, you need to be upfront with him. He won't just pick up on little hints like we hope, he needs to be told. But whatever you do, by ALL means, do NOT ever ever ever ever ever pull a 'Lavender'! Nobody likes a clingy freak stalker chick. So, I'll help with you 'or what'. Firstly, you need to break them up, and then show him you're interested. Or, you could reverse the order. If he feels the same way about you, he'll leave her for you. The important thing is that you bring it to his attention that you like him. If he never knows, nothing will ever progress.

I hope this helped.

Love,

Ginny

_Dear Ron,_

_Actually I do collect the cards. I have over 50, I think. But Half of them are  
>Dumbledores. I just wish I could get Agrippa. Do you happen to have one?<em>

_And thanks for the complement. I actually am like Hermione in some ways._

_Thanks,_

_Your Hermione-like fan,_

_Read-a-holic_

Dear Read-a-holic,

Cool! And yeah, most of them are always him. I happen to have 2

Cornelius Agrippa's. He was that German wizard, I think. You can have one if you like, I have all of them.

Your welcome, I'm sure she'd be delighted to hear that.

You're very welcome,

Ron


	13. Golden Trio, Daphne, Draco, Voldemort

_Dear the Golden trio_

_My friends are like you we each have two guys and one girl in fact we're like  
>our own verson of the trio. My question is What other names of the trio we<br>should be?_

_Bryan p Evans_

_Abe A Clark_

_Ducky A Hewitt_

Dear Bryan, Abe, and Ducky,

**Which one is me? **_Ron! That is not the question. _Well Hermione, Neither is that. _Harry! _Sorry, shutting up now. **But that wasn't the question either…** _You two are impossible! Moving on then… They asked 'What other names of the trio should they be?'. Any ideas? _**Harry, Ron, and Hermione?** _No. _**The Golden Trio Junior? **_No! _**The second coolest trio to- **_Harry? _Umm..The three blind mice? _Seriously? Ronald had better ideas then that! _**Thank you- **_It still wasn't a compliment. _**What about Huey, Dewie, and Louie? **_Absolutely not- wait, what? _**It's a muggle cartoon. **I think it's American. _Yes, it is but how is that even relevant? _**Well…There's three..and they're ducks…and one of the their names is Ducky, so… **_So…Ron's an idiot. You could try the three musketeers, the three amigos…umm, Fleur sometimes refers to us as the 'trois amis' which means trio of friends. Or you could use something you all have in common with the word triangle. _Sorry we couldn't help more, but we didn't even come up with our own nickname. **How did we get that name anyway? **_Not now, Ronald. Sorry again, guys. Good luck!_

_Sincerely,_

_~Hermione Granger_

Harry Potter

**Ron Weasley**

_Hello, I was wondering if there was a Mrs. Daphne Greengrass lurking about? I  
>see she hasn't been contacted yet, but I was wondering whether she is<br>contactable or not._

_If you are reading this, Daphne, what is it like being in Slytherin? How did  
>you get the nickname The Hogwarts Ice Queen that I have read about in stories?<br>Is there any truth to the rumour that you once had a bit of a thing for Harry  
>Potter?<em>

_Lots of Love, hope you get this,_

_- Daphne._

Daphne,

Hello, why yes, I'm here.

It's simply marvelous being in Slytherin. Despite the rumours, it is by far the best house. Gryffindors tend to be snobs and think they're better than us for some reason, maybe because they're mad. But anyone will tell you, we're cleverer than the ravenclaws. More loyal to each other than the huffelpuffs. And far braver than any Gryffindor I've ever met.

My only complaint is that our dorms and common room are located in the dungeons, which I can't stand because it's freezing down there. Despite the whole 'Ice Queen' nickname, I can't _stand_ the cold weather. I got that nickname because most people think I'm cold hearted since I don't have many friends. I'll admit, I'm a bit bitter sometimes, and I can be a bitch, but when it comes to the people I do care about I'm very loving. Like my little sister, Astoria, I'd die for her, and kill for her. I don't any girl friends because they're all jealous because all the boys like me; I'm thin, pretty, blonde, and better than them in everyway. Conceited? Yeah. But that's just me. I have a lot of guy friends, but no boyfriend. Flirting is way too much fun to go steady. That's another reason I was deemed 'Ice Queen'. I have a tendency of being a bit of a heartbreaker. Ohh well, they'll live.

Between us, yes. I had a teeny tiny slight crush on Potter a few years ago. He's not in the slightest way cute, and I would never go out with him, but I mean come on. He is _The Chosen One_. The most famous wizard in the entire world! So yeahh…that fame and glory stuff was a big turn on. But it's not him that I wanted, it was only the title. I wanted to be 'The chosen one of the chosen one'. I could have had him if I wanted. But I just couldn't get over his appearance. And his personality…ughh he is such a push over! And those glasses…don't even get me started.

Well, I've got to be off now. Bye bye!

Love,

~Daphne Greengrass

_Oh Merlin this is awesome..._

_Dear Hermione,_

_To be honest, I admire the tight friendship of you, Ron and Harry (That's a  
>friendship that is very true). Well, that's not what I'm writing to you<br>actually! At my school, we get vocabulary words every week and we've got to  
>memorize 100 words for the exam. Can you give me an advice on how to remember<br>the words and its meanings easily? I hope this is not too complicated for you._

_Thank you~_

_Sincerely,_

_Yuu __Tachibana___

_P.S. I ain't Japanese, it just happens to be a screen name_

Dear Yuu Tachibana,

Thank you! We really are so close…they've always been my best friends. Ah, I see. Our homework is similar. You should try associating the words with something you know by heart. It will make it easier to remember. Like say you had to memorize 'hippogriff'. Think of a hippopotamus, and then Gryffindor. That's what I always did, break them down. If you have some particularly tough ones, let me know what they are and I can give you hints to remember them if you like. I hope this helped.

Anytime!

Sincerely,

Hermione

P.S. Wonderful screen name!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Draco 'The White Ferret' Malfoy,_

_Don't ask me how I knew of the ferret part. Anyway, shall tell you that I  
>could see the future. You married a Muggleborn and said Muggleborn's name is<br>Hermione __Granger__. Seriously dude, stop insulting her or you'll actually marry  
>her because: "The more you hate, the more you love." so remember that.<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Yuu Tachibana_

Yuu Tachibana,

Don't call me that! What you've just said is the biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard! The thought of me and a filthy mudblood together…it's preposterous! I wouldn't even date a halfblood, let alone that abomination, Granger! I've never heard that saying in my life, and it will never be true. I bet you've never even taken divination.

D. Malfoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Voldemort_

_I shall hereby tell you that after your downfall, Slytherin house now has many  
>Muggleborns although, the dark reputation still lingers. Oh and there's a song<br>written by people about you! It's called 'Good Morning Voldemort' sung by  
>'Bellatrix'. You should not check it out. *note the sarcasm on that sentence*<em>

_That is all._

_Sincerely,_

_Yuu Tachibana_

NEVER! The single thought of that filth in the house that I was in…disgusts me. I just heard the song…Now I must go kill Bellatrix.

Lord Voldermort

P.S. **AVADA KEDAVRA!**


	14. Hermione, Daphne, Mauraders, Twins

_Dear Hermione_

My question is "what is the best way to help people with their studies ?

bryan evans

Dear Bryan,

I find that the best way to help someone with their studies is to put everything into terms that they're familiar with. For instance, as a child, I remembered which sign meant greater than () and which was less than () because my mother told me to pretend the sign is pac-man. She said pac man was hungry, and would open his mouth to ear the bigger number. So I knew 7 4. I hope this helped. If not, let me know what you don't get and what you like, usually a sport or something. Good luck, and happy studying!

Sincerely,

Hermione

_Dear Daphne, (Reply)_

I'm glad to hear it, I don't care what that lot say, Slytherin is by far the  
>best house. I don't blame you for being conceited, if I looked like you I<br>would be too! In fact, I do look like you, and I am conceited. What do you  
>think of people calling you the Ice Queen? Personally, I would think it was a<br>pretty cool sounding nick name, only I wouldn't always want to be called it,  
>do you ever wish that you had a normal life with friends and family?<p>

Daphne, you do need to remember that having a boyfriend who's a push over  
>can be to your advantage. You can make them do whatever you want, like be your<br>servant, and I have seen Potter when somebody insults his friends, he goes  
>mental, so you would have a servant, and a body guard. I still don't know why<br>Potter doesn't have his eyes fixed...He's a wizard right? I'm sure he is the  
>only boy in Hogwarts to actually have glasses!<p>

-Daphne.

Dear Daphne,

Exactly! Finally, someone who gets it. It's good to hear there are others like me, I don't know many. I suppose we are just those rare diamonds in the ruff. I don't really mind being called the Ice Queen. I'm sure some could come up with worse, so at least it sounds pretty. My own sister calls me Queenie, so it doesn't really bother me. Not much offends me. You sound like a very down to Earth person so I'll be honest with you… Occasionally, I do think about what life would be like with a close family, and good friends. My father died when I was a baby, and my mother hasn't been very involved in my life, so I practically raised Astoria. I suppose it's made me sort of bitter, because now every time I see people that are really close, like Potter, Granger, and that red headed boy, it makes my blood boil. I'm content with my life, but sometimes I do wonder if it could have been different. I don't usually admit it though. I like to look perfect at all times.

Yes, I'm aware that I could wrap him around my finger and have him spoil me and by me pretty things, but whenever I've tried that they always end up being so clingy, and I can't stand that. My exes are almost impossible to get rid of! Complete stalkers…Most boys treat me like their girlfriend anyway, so I don't really lack anything. I have shagged a lucky few who spoiled me rotten, but don't get me wrong, I'm not by any means a _slag_. As for Potter, he seems a bit…_overprotective_, If you know what I mean. I don't like his 'I'll do what anybody tells me' attitude. I'm more attracted to arrogant, conceited guys, like myself. As long as they know that they have to do whatever _I _tell them. And be aware of the fact that I'm better looking than them, and appreciate how lucky they are that I'm interested in them.

You know what, that has never even come to my attention! Why wouldn't he get them fixed? I mean there's surely a spell for it; I don't know any other wizard's who wear glasses. He probably wouldn't be recognized without them…I bet he just likes the attention. I'm going to have to look into this now, thanks so much!

Love,

~_Daphne Greengrass_

_Dear Marauders,_

Yay! I just love you guys! Especially Padfoot and Moony! hem hem. Anyways, my  
>four friends, Janet, Sammi, Raven and Penny have a problem. See, Penny ratted<br>out Janet and her boyfriend, Liam to Jamet's parents(They were sneaking out to  
>see each other). Penny told Janet and Raven that Sammi tattled, and Sammi that<br>Raven told them. So, now, Sammi isn't talking to Raven, Raven and Janet aren't  
>talking to Sammi. Sammi is trying to tell Janet she didn't do it but Janet<br>won't listen. I've tried telling them what really happened but they won't  
>listen to me! And Penny is looking to damn happy about this... What should I<br>do?

Sincerly with much love,

_Phoenix_

(James will be in this format. **Sirius is bold. **_Remus is italics. _Peter is underlined.)

Dear Phoenix,

**Thanks! **_Thank you. _Ohh.. Feeling the love. **There, there, Prongs. Don't be such a sore loser! **Shut up, Padfoot! I most certainly am not. **Are too! **Am not! **Are too! **Am not! _Are too. _Am no- Moony? _Moving on, then. That sounds like quite the dilemma. _I agree with Moony. **Cough*Suck up*Cough. **I am not a suck up, Padfoot! **I didn't say anything. **I have proof! **You have no such thing. **We're writing, you dolt! It's right there, in bold black ink. I SEE it! **Best be having those glasses checked, Prongs. What were you saying, Moony? **_For those of you who can't see this, I just rolled my eyes. We've all read over your situation, and I think that your best solution is to keep trying to convince your friends of the truth. There's not really much else you can do but to wait for them to- _**WRONG! There is a better answer. **Padfoot and I have found it! What you need to do, is trick Penny into admitting the truth. **You need to find some way to either record it or have her say it in front of your friends. **Or you could always have the girls ask Janet's parents, who would know better than them? **Right. But whatever you do, make sure everybody understands what happened. Oh, and Penny's gotta go. **I think Penny did the right thing. What? Why are all of you glaring at me like that? Stop it! I'm sorry…I agree with Sirius again. Why him? He gives the scariest looks. _I see. Well good luck, Phoenix. _We hope everything works out! **Just a quick curiosity, are you, or any of your friends, hot? **_Padfoot! _Bye!

_Sincerely, Moony_

Wormtail

**Love, Padfoot**

Prongs

**P.S. No, really, any hotties looking for a good snog in the broom cupboard?**

_Are you serious, Padfoot?_

**I'm always Sirius!**

Dear Fred and George,

You guys are the most amazing twins ever! My friend just recently embarassed  
>me and I need a way to get back at her. Help me?<p>

Love,

Phoenix

Phoenix,

Oh we've got a good one for you! Haven't we, George? _Certainly, Fred! We've been looking in to some muggle pranks, since some of our writers can't do magic._ And we've just recently found one that is bloody brilliant! _We tested it on Filtch. _It didn't go so well for him…_No, not at all…_poor old bloke. Anyway, It works wonders for the pranker! _You're probably wondering what it is. _So we won't keep you in suspense any longer! It's called 'Operation: Poopcakes! _I know what you're thinking. _And yes, it as disgusting as it sounds. _You need two things. : Chocolate E-lax. It's sold in most muggle drug stores. It's basically a bunch of mini chocolate bars to help you umm…_take a dump, basically. #2: Chocolate cake mix. What you do is stir prepare the cake mix, as if your baking cupcakes, then melt the chocolate e-lax an put it in the batter before you add it to the cup cake tray and add it to the oven. _Now I know they will smell delicious, but whatever you do, don't by any means eat one of those cupcakes. One bite will have you in the bathroom for an hour. The whole cupcake will have you there all day! _You just have to make sure they eat it. _It's probably best to do it on a day they have something important, like school, or a party. _Good luck and happy pranking!

Love,

Fred _and George xx_

_Dear Hermione,_

First off, let me say, me and my best friend are HUGE fans of you and we wanna  
>be just like you. So the question, have you ever counted how many books you've<br>ever read while at Hogwarts? And if so, how many? I am a first year Ravenclaw  
>and I've already read about … 5-6?<p>

Thanks,

your best fan,

Read-a-holic

Dear Read-a-holic,

Awh, thank you both! That means so much. I always strive to be a good role model. Unfortunately, I lost count after 279, in second year. I'm so sorry_, _but I'm sure I've read over 600 in all my years at Hogwarts. Everyone knows I tend to be a bit of a bookworm, and can speed through them so quickly. Congratulations on making Ravenclaw! Keep up the good work with the reading!

My pleasure,

Sincerely,

Hermione


	15. Ginny, Draco, Hermione, Twins

_Dear Ginny,_

_Thanks so much for your advice! I guess I could have seen your answer coming  
>about not being able to control who you fall in love with...I was starting to<br>think the same thing myself. I'm not sure, but I think my problem is that I'm  
>pretty shy around people in general, and I think he likes this about me, but I<br>don't know how to get my feelings across without scaring him off and I'm  
>afraid to put myself out there, so to speak, and let my heart get broken even<br>more than it already is... *sigh* Last Christmas (right after he got a  
>girlfriend although I didn't know it at the time), I did admit to him that I<br>had feelings for him, but I didn't tell him the whole story, and since then my  
>feelings have only gotten stronger to the point where I'm crying myself to<br>sleep a lot of nights. I hardly see him at all anymore since we've graduated,  
>and to make things worse, my best friend suddenly turned on me and now<br>whenever I'm around them, she takes up all his attention and acts like I'm not  
>even there. She knows how much I love him so I can only assume she's doing it<br>on purpose. I'm too shy to ask him to get together separately, and I've given  
>up on going to our school football games or other places where my ex-bestie is<br>bound to show up. It's bad enough that he has a girlfriend without this  
>happening to me too... :_

_Anyway, sorry to complain so much. I'm just trying to explain the situation.  
>What do you think I can do? Like I said, I'm a very passionate person, but<br>rather reserved, so big moves (like trying to break up him and his gf) aren't  
>exacly my forte. Do I just have to wait this out? Or is there something else I<br>can do?_

_Thanks so much! Love,_

_3NDC_

Dear 3NDC,

Anytime! Yeah..sorry that was pretty corny but it is true. I think that's your problem too, but you see he probably thinks it cute that your shy, but cute is something you look for in a friend/little sister type relationship. Confidence is the biggest turn on for a guy, and I have 6 brothers, so I know how they think. Even though you feel like you're falling apart, and your hearts beating faster when he's around, you need to play it cool and act like you could care less. Boys like the chase, and they like the game of winning over a girl's heart. I see your point about not wanting to put your heart out there, It's best to protect it from getting broken. But if you never do anything about it, everything will only get worse.

It's good that you told him how you felt, so he knows you're an option. A big problem with some guys is they don't think you'd like them, so they never try. But now you need to act as if that never happened. Don't let him know you're interested in him. You can be flirty, but don't fawn all over him. Try to flirt with his friends if you can in front of him, that sets off something in a boy's head and he realizes you won't be around waiting for him forever.

I understand you being a little shy rather than too forward. But you should try not to avoid places just because they're there. That's all the more reason to go and have a good time, if you ex-best friend is as bad as she sounds, she'll be pissed that you're enjoying yourself. She sounds like a horrible best friend. I can't even imagine being all over someone knowing that my best friend liked him. Me and my best friend have crushed on the same guy at the same time before, and when he asked me out, I turned him down and sent him in her direction. She was really selfish to do that to you and leave you out.

I know it's a lot to take on, seeing him with his girlfriend and your ex best friend trying to get it in on it, but just know that if your truly determined, you will come out on top. Don't be sorry, you're not complaining at all. It's a lot easier for me to help when I know the whole situation.

So I got it, big moves, out. We're going to take baby steps here. No matter what, waiting it out isn't an option. You know that saying, 'good things come to those who wait'? That's a big load of rubbish right there. If you don't take action, you're never going to get what you want. You need to work for what's yours. So instead of trying to break them up, we will get him to fall for you first. That way once he realizes how amazing you are, he will dump her on his own.

Considering you're his friend, you should know what he likes. Whether it's a certain sport or band or whatever, try and throw yourself into it. If you have more in common, he'll love talking to you. Another thing, when you are around him, never sweat the little things. Girls always tend to over react over every little thing, and guys hate that. I know you're trying to avoid him, but if you want him to like you, you need to be around him more. Sorry, I know I'm rambling on; I'm just trying to explain fully.

Just stay focused, and don't give up on him yet. Boys are idiots, sometimes you need to pound what's right in front of their eyes into their thick skulls, but once it's in there, it stays. Determination is key.

Love,

Ginny

_Dear Draco,_

_Ahh, this is good to know, thanks. ;) I know you're busy with all  
>that...errr..."family business," but do you have time to be my pen pal? And if<br>you ever happen to stop by any place in northern CA, I would be delighted to  
>meet you. :)<em>

_xoxoxo,_

_3NDC_

_P.S. - Anytime! ;)_

Dear 3NDC,

No problem. I always have time for a lovely lady, and I'll be sure to let you know if I'm ever in town. (;

Love,

Draco

xo xo xo

_Dear Hermione,_

_Well, anyways, thanks for your reply and I'm sure I'll read at least over 100  
>at my years at Hogwarts. Also, my friend (the one that also likes you) is also<br>considered a bookworm. Every time you look over during a free period, she's  
>reading a book. Sometimes I am, but not all the time. Anyways, thanks for<br>congratulating me. At first, I thought that I was going to be put in  
>Hufflepuff, but I wasn't.<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Read-a-holic_

Dear Read-a-holic,

It was a pleasure talking to you. That's brilliant! Books are truly brilliant. I'm always reading them in my free time, as well. Your very welcome, Ravenclaw is a lovely house. It's a wonder I wasn't put in there, they do say it's for the clever minded.

Sincerely,

Hermione

_Dear Draco,_

_The only person a hippogriff would need saving from is you!_

_And yes I am a 'registered half blood' so no need to ship me off to azakaban  
>just yet Mr. Minister! ^_~ honestly do you think daddy can get you everything<br>you want?_

_just go be in a herbal essences commercial already -.-_

_I bet your father, "luscious", is :D hahaha!_

_Anyway, the dark lord happens to be a halfblood, so just_

_don't jump to conclusions about all powerful purebloods.._

_I could rant on and on about your reactionary and stubborn views but my friend  
>and I want to talk to more intelligent characters.<em>

_Like Fred and George weasley! :)_

_No one can bet the weasley twins :)_

_With more love,_

_SHP_

Dear Ship minus the 'i',

For your information my father is a very talented man, and no I don't think he can get me everything I want! I can take care of my self, and it's none of your business anyway. Haha if I had a sickle for every time I've heard _that_ one! Yes, I'm very aware of the dark lord's blood status, and I don't care much to hear more about yours. I could rant on and on about your stupidity, but you're wasting my time.

~D. Malfoy

p.s. perhaps I can't 'bet' those idiot gingers, but I can always beat them!

_Dear Fred and George Weasley,_

_*blushes in excitement*_

_Well, hello! You guys are so brilliant! I can't even begin to explain how  
>genius you two are 3 you have inspired over half of my pranks, so I-<em>

_You mean we -.-_

_- owe you_

_for all my achievements._

_- OUR achievements!_

_*knocks off chair*_

_So my friend and I are twins at heart together and are now parading around the  
>whole bloody school planning pranks and etc. on classmates and caretaker  
>maintenance manager-<em>

_whatever ,who is remarkably like filch... -_

_Well, anyway she wants to type the rest.._

_-Hey guys! So anyway, To the point, we have run across a slight..._

_*finishes sentence* Difficulty. We haven't got in trouble yet so that's not  
>the problem. But there's someone who keeps acting..<em>

_*corrects* being, such a -_

_spoiled-_

_bratty-_

_little git -_

_and is extremely, extremely hard to prank._

_My turn to type- k here._

_*bows*_

_Could-_

_- we have the honor?-_

_of a good-_

_prank idea? -_

_- u ran out of ideas_

_.. You did too... -.-_

_Some thing she'd never forget ;)-_

_- don't jump to conclusions yet!_

_Oh cut it out... Anyway it would make my-_

_OUR!_

_-day_

_From,_

_Twins at heart..-_

_dumb name..._

_- shut up! I can't just put my pen-name because this is from both of us...-_

_Still..._

_With love,_

_US!_

Dear Twins at heart,

_Why thank you!_ Yes, it's always nice to know we've inspired pranks. _Certainly, Fred. _As for ideas…_We just gave our latest and greatest idea,_ the cupcake one, right? _Yes, that's the one. _Right, so you can check that one out if you like. _But if not, we'll come up with more. _Well, it all depends on who the prank is for…_If it's for in school, well that changes the snitch game a little bit. _But not to worry! Where there's a Weasley, there's a prank! _We've certainly got plenty of Weasley's, Fred. _And even more pranks! So let's see then…you could always fill their locker with water balloons…_or call the office pretending you're their mother, and make up some embarrassing excuse as to why they would have to leave. _Or 'accidentally' drop your lunch all over them…_there are a ton of things you could do, but we need a little more information for a personalized prank. _What we need to know is the gender, age, location of pranking, and how much dirt you have on his person. _Happy Pranking!_

_Love, _

Fred _and George _x_x_


	16. D, WT, H, G, M, L, J, R, V, L, O, A, H

_No dear for you this time..._

_Draco freakin' ferret malfoy,_

_So,I'm pacidly ignoring your trifle comments on my typos, foolishness and  
>stupidity but then you said one thing I can not put up with... you insulted<br>the weasley twins, didn't you? :)_

_- draws wand- NO ONE INSULTS THE WEASLEY TWINS IN FRONT OF ME! I SAID I  
>WOULDN'T SPAZ OUT BUT THAT WAS BEFORE YOU INSULTED THE TWO MOST BRILLIANT<br>TWINS IN THE WORLD! Your the stupid one here! Don't you realize they are the  
>best pranksters that ever lived? They have more humor in a minute than you'd<br>have in your spoiled life! :|_

_Honestly, I will make your pathetic pureblooded git life miserable from this  
>day on.<em>

_With hate, no need for sarcasimly saying love this time..._

_Btw, Ship with out the I? Wth? It's the abbreviation of my pen name -.-_

_BYE!_

_For forever hopefully,_

_From,_

_Someone who hates malfoy scum._

Bloody annoying git,

I have no more tolerance for your childish nonsense, and I will be telling my owl not to deliver me any further nonsense from you. Go eat snails.

P.S. The Red Head twins are the foulest most despicable creatures in all of England; they're even more bloody annoying then that stupid potter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Fred and George,_

_Just wanted to say thanks for the reply._

_I-_

_-WE!_

_Have agreed-_

_That the water ballon idea is brilliant ( obviously) and we will do it :D_

_- just the thing we needed actually._

_Want to go on about the personalized prank info a bit more but my friend wont  
>let me ask yet cuz she's about to leave.<em>

_Thanks again!_

Glad we could help!

_Good luck, let us know how it turns out! _And we'd be delighted to help you with your customized pranking, _so don't hesitate to write back! _

_Always a pleasure,_

Fred _and George _x_x_

_Dear Malfoy,_

_In all honesty, I am not sure why I'm even writing to you.. So, goodbye nd  
>goodriddance. PARTY TIME FOR SYDNEY!<em>

_HATE, Sydney. _

Cindy,

Thank Salazar my Savior! Good riddance, pathetic git!

D. Malfoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Hermione,_

_I want to know, was their ever any mean/popular girls at your school, that  
>call you nerd and such? Because their is now, and ughh! I just want to slap<br>them sometimes._

_Sydney_

Dear Sydney,

Oh dear, Sydney I am so sorry to hear that! Girls can be so cruel sometimes, it really is horrible. I have had my fair share of experiences with girls like that at Hogwarts, but I always just ignored them. That's why my two best friends were boys, as much trouble as we got into, there was not nearly as much drama. I know violence seems like the answer sometimes, I admit I slipped up once in my third year with Malfoy…but it's best to try to suppress your anger, and not let them get to you. Remember, what goes around comes around; they just may get turned into ferrets.

I hope things get better for you,

Sincerely,

Hermione

_Dear Ginny,_

_I, personally, think you are you think that boys are stupid percent  
>of the time?<em>

_Sydney. _

Dear Sydney,

Thanks! You seem pretty cool yourself.

Why, yes. I think boys can be absolutely stupid and they don't have a bloody clue 99% of the time. But we're clever enough for everyone. (;

Sincerely,

Ginny

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Marauders,_

_Oh. My. Godric._

_I cannot believe it's you! You guys, are, like pranking GODS! Your even better  
>than the Weasley Twins! Anyway, my favorite of you guys is Sirius, and Peter,<br>just go die in a hole. Please. Any_

(James will be in this format. **Sirius is bold. **_Remus is italics. _Peter is underlined.)

Hello!

It's always a pleasure hearing from a fan. **And yes, we know we are, love. **_Oh, Sirius, get over yourself. _**What? I am her favorite! **Godric knows why… **Hey! **Eeeeeppp! What did I do? **Grrrrr. **Right, sorry, going in the whole now!

_Sincerely,_

The Marauders X

_Dear lily and james potter_

_first of all lily i think we're may be related. my question is How do you  
>forgive a girl who break your heart and called you a name?<em>

_Bryan P Evans_

Dear Bryan,

_Fascinating! It's always great to meet a new relative. Do you think we could be cousins, perhaps? Do you have red hair? _Erm, Lily, he is the one with the question. _Oh! Of course, sorry. Let's see…Um, James, I believe this one is meant for you. _Oh? Ohh…I see. Well it's impossible for me to stay mad at such a beautiful lady forever when I'm so in love with her. _James, he was asking hypothetically. You can be such an idiot sometimes…_ It helps that she's so gorgeous when she's angry. _James!_ Right, Sorry, Bryan. If she means a lot to you, you'll find it in you to forgive her and give her another chance. People say things they don't mean when they're angry. Take Lily, here, she used to think I was an arrogant toe rag, but now…_ I still think he's an arrogant toe rag. _But you love me anyway. Right, Lily? Right? _Haha, right, James. _See? I wish you the best of luck my friend, don't give up on her!

_Sincerely,_

James and Lily Potter

_Dear Marauders and Weasley Twins,_

_Thank you! After I saw your responses, I called up Raven, Sammi, Janet, Penny,  
>Liam, Simon and my other friend Caitlyn (the one who embarrassed me in front<br>of a guy I liked) and told them head to my house for a game of truth and dare.  
>Since we all go to Hogwarts, I decided to use some Veritaserum (or Truth<br>Potion) for when someone *cough*Penny*cough*. Long story short, after I found  
>some stuff to use as blackmail, I finally asked Penny the dreaded question<br>"Truth or Dare". I knew Penny was going to say truth (I don't know HOW  
>she got in Gryffindor! She is such a stereotypical Slytherin! Does things only<br>for herself or what's in her best interest) and she drank the soda laced  
>with the Truth Potion and asked her "Did you, not Sammi tattle on Janet and<br>Liam?". Then she said… drumroll please…. "Yes! And lied about Sammi  
>doing it!" Then I said "I TOLD YOU SO! NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME!" And after<br>much apologizing to Sammi and me, asked about everything she ever told us. And  
>let me tell you, she was such a little liar! We decided to kick her out of our<br>group of friends and never to darken Yay! And after our doorstep again!  
>much more apologizing, Caitlyn left, I decided I share my plan for Caitlyn,<br>you know the laxative cupcakes? We decided to send a dozen to Penny as  
>revenge. I know what we're doing tomorrow! Muwahahaha! So, I thank you both!<br>And Prongs, Wormtail, I love you guys too! It's just out of Marauders,  
>Sirius and Remus are my favorite. Question, out of all the pranks you guys<br>have done, what is your favorite? Best? Remus, what's your favorite book?  
>Sirius, Sammi (trust me, I think she's part Veela) said she'd date you but<br>you're from a different time. Bye! Cause much mischief and mayhem!_

_Love,_

_Phoenix_

Dear Phoenix,

Hello, my friends are a bit tied up in a Quiditch match at the moment, but I'm just being score keeper, so I've taken the liberty to reply to your letter for everybody. First of all, we're all very glad everything worked out for you! The Veritaserum was a brilliant idea, and Fred and George send their compliments on snagging some out of the potions cabinet. We all wish you luck on your new prank, be sure to let us know how it turns out!

As for prongs, he says: "I'm still wounded." And he's pouting. Wormtail said: "Yay!". And Sirius says: "Don't lie to them! We all know I'm your favorite for a reason, I'm just far more handsome and charming than everybody else." As you see, he's modest too. Sirius said I'm being too sarcastic, but he deserves it.

**Do not! Hello, It's Sirius again. I made Remus fill in for me in the game cause we winning by too much, so I decided to be fair and let him even out the score. As for my favorite prank, it would have to be charming the Slytherine common room red and gold, with enchanted Gryffindor banners. It took them 2 weeks to figure out how to remove the charm! IT was brilliant. And our best was probably casting a spell that made a bottle of shampoo follow Snivellous everywhere he went for a week, and it squirted in his greasy, filthy hair every few minutes…ohh it was genius! **

**I would ask Remus about his favorite book, but he's read them all so it would probably take way too long for an answer, and he's simply too boring to wait around for, so I have a better answer for you. My favorite book! Not that I read many, but I do have an interest in 'Twelve Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches'. Not that I needed it, I could have wrote the book! Of course, I had better pranking matters at hand to waste my time. But anyways, a _veela _you say! Interesting…haha I'll figure something out! Tell her to owl me. (;**

**We won't let you down!**

**The Marauders**

_Dear Remus,_

_My favorite book is a tie between Deathly Hallows and Prisoner of Azkaban. My  
>theory about J.K. Rowling is that she must have been like a witch in disguise,<br>and wrote the series to throw the muggles off of the age old secret of the  
>Wizarding World. I don't know if I am a fast reader, all I know is I can't<br>just stop reading. It's almost impossible. Anyway, Big test next Thursday! Any  
>useful study tips?<em>

_Writing again soon,_

_Jenna_

Dear Jenna,

Sorry I've taken so long to get back to you! The Wizarding World has been so hectic lately with all of the Halloween commotion, and with the holidays coming, everything gets so busy.

Those are both wonderful books, and I'm pretty sure your theory is correct. You seem to have my reading habits, that's excellent! Knowledge is they key to the world, in my opinion. Sorry, If this isn't in time for your test, but I'll try to help anyway, because I'm sure there will be many more,

The best advice I gave my students for tests, was to relate the answers to things they're familiar with, it will help you learn the terms a lot faster!

Looking forward to hearing from you, 

Remus

_Dear Hermione,_

_Oh thank you! Anyway, Hermione, have you heard of Facebook? Just asking! Oh  
>and have you heard of the book Mortal Instruments or Twilight or Vampire<br>Diaries or The Princess Diaries?_

_Forgive me for being curious. -.-_

_By the way, when we checked the Vocabulary exam __last Saturday__, __Oct. 8__, I got  
>an 89 out of 100... with a plus one that made it 90 for I don't know what<br>exactly is the purpose :/ Oh... and I got sorted into Hufflepuff as I've been  
>expecting because I'm barely a Slytherin and the nearest is Ravenclaw followed<br>by Gryffindor So yeah, sorting hat is torn between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff  
>but I ended up to be a 'Puff anyway :D<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Yuu Tachibana~_

_-X-_

Dear Yuu Tachibana,

Your very welcome! Why, yes. I do believe it sounds familiar, isn't that the muggle social network device? Unfortuantely, I've never heard of the book, 'Mortal Instruments', but I've read all of the Twilight books at least 7 times each, I'm in love with them. I've also seen all the movies, and forced Ronald to watch them with me as well. Though, only the first one was forced, by the end he was in tears, going on about how beautiful it is….he is such a hopeless romantic sometimes. I've seen the Vampire Diaries and The Princess Diaries, I loved them both, how about you?

No need for forgiveness, it's no bother at all! I'm so sorry about your test, but you did pretty good! And congratulations on making Hufflepuff! I know some amazing witches from that house, I'm sure you will do great!

Best wishes,

Hermione

_Dear Malfoy,_

_Oh dear Merlin, you took what I wrote to you last time badly D: No wonder  
>everyone considers you a bete noire at Hogwarts.<em>

_Well what if I told you that you married Astoria Greengrass and had a son  
>named Scorpius?<em>

_Yes, I didn't take Divination and DON'T ask why._

_(UN)Sincerely,_

_Yuu Tachibana_

_-X-_

What other way could I have taken it? That was horrible, horrible lies! And Greengrass you say…she has been awfully flirty lately, and she is very attractive…Also, I have always liked the name Scorpius…

Yes, in that case, I would most likely take your word for it. I'm off too walk Astoria to class!

Couldn't care less,

D. Malfoy

_Dear Voldemort,_

_Go ahead! Kill Bella for all I care. She fancies you anyway. Sucks for you  
>Tommy-boy. Once so handsome now it was all taken away by age and evil.<em>

_Sincerely Trolling,_

_Yuu Tachibana_

_P.S. You can't kill me, because if you did kill me, I wouldn't reply to you  
>anyhow.<em>

You came back from the dead! Impossible! Must have another Potter on my hands…ughh. My name is LORD VOLDEMORT, and un-dead or not, you shall address me as so! You think I'm handsome? I obviously am but still…awkward.

LORD VOLDEMORT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__

_Dear Luna,_

_I want to be your best friend! Can we be best friends? I believe nargles often  
>infest mistletoe.<em>

_Anyway, can I ask an advice? Why am I getting sleepy even if I had enough  
>sleep? Are wrackspurts attacking me? or maybe it's the work of nargles?<em>

_Sincerely,_

_Yuu Tachibana_

Dear Yuu,

Okay, that would be lovely. That's an intriguing theory you have there, did you know that nargles are also attracted to shampoo?

Hmm..I don't think wrackspurts or nargles would make you sleepy…perhaps its Crumple-Horned Snorkacks, they're pesky little creatures. Put a drop of honey on your nose everyday, that should keep them away.

It was nice meeting you,

Love Luna

_Dear Oliver wood ,Angelina weasley,and Harry Potter_

_Im Capt. of my team and i have a few bad apples on said team My question is  
>should i tell them nicely that they need to work on their skills or not?<em>

_Bryan P evans_

Dear Bryan,

Hi, Bryan. I'm Harry. _I'm Angelina. _**I'm Oliver Wood, and I can completely relate to your problem, but the best thing for you to do is tell them what they need to do up front. They need to work on their skills to improve the team, and you were given the responsibility of captain to ensure that they get the practice they need. It's on you to keep them in line. **_I agree with Oliver, but at the same time, be considerate of your teammates feelings. Don't make them feel bad about themselves, just tell them what they need to work on. _Exactly, be honest, but not brutal. Keep up the good work, and good luck with your team!

Sincerely,

Harry Potter

_~Angelina Weasley_

**Oliver Wood**

_Dear Marauders and Weasley Twins,_

_HELP! *We need it* -Thanks, for stating the obvious, Sammi.- *No problem,  
>Raven!* Anyway, it seems Penny didn't get the message and won't leave us<br>alone! /It's really annoying!/ Yes, yes it is, Janet. what should we do?  
>-There are only so many times you can say "We don't like you! Now, go<br>away!"- *I still say we should spread a nasty rumor about her.* /I still  
>don't think it's a good idea, Sammi! I don't need any bad Karma!  
>*You're just saying that because you don't want to upset Liam!* Anyway, we<br>need your help! *Anyone know where I can get a Time Turner? Possibly one that  
>goes by years, not hours?* -*stage whisper* she's got a crush on you!- *Shut<br>it, Raven!* /Anyway, any advice on becoming Animagi?/_

_Love,_

_Phoenix, /Janet,/ -Raven,- *Sammi*_

(James will be in this format. **Sirius****is****bold.**_Remus__is__italics._Peterisunderlined.)

**Ladies,**

**Why hello there, I'm Sirius Black, Best Marauder at your service. (;**

**I believe they still sell time turners in Hogsmeade, so send me and owl when you get one, love! **

Not helping, Padfoot. If she's not getting the message, have you tried the laxatives idea? _James! You are not better. What you ladies need to do is set her straight nicely, but firmly, so she get's the message. Just be honest and tell her you don't think your friendship will work out again after everything that's happened. _And then give her the cupcakes as a 'parting gift'! **Excellent idea, Prongs! **I know. Great thinking! Obviously, Moony. **Why do you sound so surprised? Are you implying that our Jamesie doesn't usually have good ideas?** What? No! Of course not. That's not what I meant. I just…umm… _Shut up, Peter. _Oh, right, sorry Remus. Pete! Sorry! Shutting up now. **Grrr. **Eeep!

_As for becoming Animagi, you should know that it is illegal, and you need to register at the ministry before practicing it. _That never stopped us, Moony. **That's right, are you calling us law breakers?** Us? Never! You couldn't, Moony! Could you? _You two are impossible._ **You love us. **_Is that a Veela? _**Where? **_She went that way. _**Time to pay my favorite little broom closet a visit! **_Is it time for dinner already?_ It is? Sorry, guys, got to go. See you later! Smart, Moony. They really are so gullable… _Is that Lily going up the stairs? _Is it? Lily! Lily, wait up! Later, Moony!

_Finally. If you are a registered Animagi, you should find the book, 'Guide to Advanced Transfiguration', in the restricted section of the Hogwarts library. It has all of the step to becoming an Animagi, just make sure you read it all before starting the transformation. Good luck!_

_Sincerely,_

_The Marauders_


End file.
